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Friday, March 25, 2005
Confusing Me
8:36:00 AM
Haven't been blogging much lately cause I've been busy...actually been addicted to playing games on Yahoo (ha ha)...should try this game called Bejeweled 2...its so addictive...besides being busy with that, I've been checking out about the A-levels syllabus...gosh its so confusing especially the maths...I've never seen so many complex formulaes in a math textbook before...i'm not too sure if i should go for it this year or next...it will be very rushing for me if i take it this year but if i take it next year i feel like i'm wasting too much of my time...i've already wasted 4 years of my life playing and living aimlessly...and now i'm in a dilemma to what i'm going to plan next...aarrrggghhh its so frustrating...
I wish i can stop working and concentrate on my studies...but i can't cause i don't want to burden my dad with the bills and if he's going to support me i'll feel pressured to succeed...i've enough pressure on myself already...I've got one more day before the closing date...whatever my choice will be, i hope i make it rite dis time...
been trying to link my friends on my blog but still couldn't figure it out how to do it...zen did gave me the linking html but it still won't work...guess try it again some other time when i have my patience...
well is time for me to go and shower and zoom to work...counting down my last 6 days......
my pondered thoughts have spokenI wish i can stop working and concentrate on my studies...but i can't cause i don't want to burden my dad with the bills and if he's going to support me i'll feel pressured to succeed...i've enough pressure on myself already...I've got one more day before the closing date...whatever my choice will be, i hope i make it rite dis time...
been trying to link my friends on my blog but still couldn't figure it out how to do it...zen did gave me the linking html but it still won't work...guess try it again some other time when i have my patience...
well is time for me to go and shower and zoom to work...counting down my last 6 days......
8:36:00 AM
Monday, March 21, 2005
Bittersweet Weekend
8:38:00 AM
My weekend started out with a dissapointment cause of my results...I didn't get shortlisted for the interview (I guess my paper was the worst one among all that took it.)...my mind was in a chaos and I don't feel like working...to make matters worst, it was very busy on Saturday, customers keep come in and go out...aaarrrggghhh...but I keep my dissapointment and frustration all to myself...
Told my cousin and she keep bugging me to stay...but I just don't want to...don't get me wrong, I love my job and the people but I feel dat my life is so stagnant if i continue to stay...den I confide in my good friend and she really did talk me out...I felt way much better but the feeling of void is still in me...I couldn't sleep at night so I ended up pigging on some food from the fridge, ha ha...
Wake up early Sunday morning and finished up the last half hour of my Spidey 2 dvd...showered and dragged myself to work...nothing much interesting happening and was so bored to death...I made myself busy by cleaning up the shop...
I didn't check my hp the whole day till it was time to go back home...an sms that made me smile from ear to ear...ha ha my colleague thought I had gone bonkers cause I was smilling like an idiot...it was from her saying hi...suddenly I feel like I was in cloud nine and all my troubles was so yesterday, ha ha...we sms each other and I confide in her...her words made me feel so much much better and now I'm going to carefully plan my next step...instead of sulking like a moron and blaming my imperfect life...
Babe thanks for everything...
Well gotta have my breakfast and scram outta my house before I'm late for work...Ciao
my pondered thoughts have spokenTold my cousin and she keep bugging me to stay...but I just don't want to...don't get me wrong, I love my job and the people but I feel dat my life is so stagnant if i continue to stay...den I confide in my good friend and she really did talk me out...I felt way much better but the feeling of void is still in me...I couldn't sleep at night so I ended up pigging on some food from the fridge, ha ha...
Wake up early Sunday morning and finished up the last half hour of my Spidey 2 dvd...showered and dragged myself to work...nothing much interesting happening and was so bored to death...I made myself busy by cleaning up the shop...
I didn't check my hp the whole day till it was time to go back home...an sms that made me smile from ear to ear...ha ha my colleague thought I had gone bonkers cause I was smilling like an idiot...it was from her saying hi...suddenly I feel like I was in cloud nine and all my troubles was so yesterday, ha ha...we sms each other and I confide in her...her words made me feel so much much better and now I'm going to carefully plan my next step...instead of sulking like a moron and blaming my imperfect life...
Babe thanks for everything...
Well gotta have my breakfast and scram outta my house before I'm late for work...Ciao
8:38:00 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Oh What a Night...Mid March 2005...
1:05:00 AM
Finally had my haircut, since the last time my snip off my mane (ha ha) which was 3 months a go. Phew, finally a load off my head. Decided to treat myself for a movie but the one I wanted to watch will be shown at around midnight at Marina Square. Its kinda too late and I hate wondering aimlessly in town at night. The movie that I've been dying to watch is called ' A very long engagement' starring Audrey Tatou. She's watched it already (hmmph without asking me to go with her, ha ha but I was busy with my work as usual) and she wanted me to catch it. Well that's not the only reason I've wanted to catch the movie. I wanted to watch it cause of Audrey Tatou, I think she's an amazing actress in her own quirky way (especially in Amelie, she's such an adorable character and funny too). Hope I'll have the time to catch it before its no longer shown in the cinema.
Well anyways went back home and had my dinner. After dinner, cleaned up my house as well as my toilet. Had my shower and now I'm sitting rite in front of my pc, typing away....Guess I just can't get to sleep tonite...my results will be out tomoro at nine...I don't think I'll ake it this round...if I do, I'll try my very best for the interview...aaarrggghhh my mind is in a mess and my thoughts totally jumbled up thinking about tomoro...don't wanna put my hopes too high cause I don't want to be disappointed...my future lies on my fate tomoro.....
Well I'm gonna bum in and catch my Spidey 2 dvd...good luck to me for tomoro as well as the rest of my competitors.....good nite my love one...
my pondered thoughts have spokenWell anyways went back home and had my dinner. After dinner, cleaned up my house as well as my toilet. Had my shower and now I'm sitting rite in front of my pc, typing away....Guess I just can't get to sleep tonite...my results will be out tomoro at nine...I don't think I'll ake it this round...if I do, I'll try my very best for the interview...aaarrggghhh my mind is in a mess and my thoughts totally jumbled up thinking about tomoro...don't wanna put my hopes too high cause I don't want to be disappointed...my future lies on my fate tomoro.....
Well I'm gonna bum in and catch my Spidey 2 dvd...good luck to me for tomoro as well as the rest of my competitors.....good nite my love one...
1:05:00 AM
Monday, March 14, 2005
Totally Screwed
11:50:00 PM
What a day it had been for me...very tiring, kinda dissapointed a bit and kinda don't know how I'm feeling...today went for my test at NP...it started out kinda good but I kinda take quite a while (about damn 20mins) to read the whole paper and to think hard what to write...in the end I don't really have much time for my paper and ended up scribbling my essay...sigh, I don't feel that I can make it through....aaarrrgggghhhhh!!!
But anyways, my life kinda goin on a fast pace lately...been goin for job interviews, finally keeping in touch with all my friends, watching all my dvds (which has been collecting dust on the shelves, ha ha) and meeting up with new and interesting customers lately...gosh I totally gonna miss my customers after I leave Da Paolo especially my regulars...nowadays seeing them made me don't wanna leave my current job but I have to...I dun wanna have a mundane life forever and I wanna do something about it before I grow old and regret not doing things that I should have tried going for...
Enough of the sentimental stuff, I need to go to bed and recharge this tired body of mine...till the next time...ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
my pondered thoughts have spokenBut anyways, my life kinda goin on a fast pace lately...been goin for job interviews, finally keeping in touch with all my friends, watching all my dvds (which has been collecting dust on the shelves, ha ha) and meeting up with new and interesting customers lately...gosh I totally gonna miss my customers after I leave Da Paolo especially my regulars...nowadays seeing them made me don't wanna leave my current job but I have to...I dun wanna have a mundane life forever and I wanna do something about it before I grow old and regret not doing things that I should have tried going for...
Enough of the sentimental stuff, I need to go to bed and recharge this tired body of mine...till the next time...ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
11:50:00 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Estatically Me
2:37:00 AM
I'm estatic today cause i received an sms from NP...I've been shortlisted for a written test this coming Monday for my Film, Sound and Video Dip application...half of the battle has been conquered...hope I can make it through and get accepted for this course...
It has been my childhood dream to learn about film-making...I hope this will be the beginning of an exciting career for me...gosh I can hardly sleep now thinking of what lies ahead for my future...the thought of me behind a camera directing my very first film or just me writing my very first screenplay...I hope one day I can create Singapore's very own lesbian theme drama series (ha ha something like the L word)...or maybe have my own PLU tv channel...or me being the first Singaporean to receive a Golden Globe or Oscars (hopefully with her as my date on the red carpet, ha ha)...lots of ideas been exploding in this quirky brain of mine...but for now I want to start from the bottom of the ladder and learnt everything...
So everyone watch out for Z inyears to come (ha ha)...
my pondered thoughts have spokenIt has been my childhood dream to learn about film-making...I hope this will be the beginning of an exciting career for me...gosh I can hardly sleep now thinking of what lies ahead for my future...the thought of me behind a camera directing my very first film or just me writing my very first screenplay...I hope one day I can create Singapore's very own lesbian theme drama series (ha ha something like the L word)...or maybe have my own PLU tv channel...or me being the first Singaporean to receive a Golden Globe or Oscars (hopefully with her as my date on the red carpet, ha ha)...lots of ideas been exploding in this quirky brain of mine...but for now I want to start from the bottom of the ladder and learnt everything...
So everyone watch out for Z inyears to come (ha ha)...
2:37:00 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Interesting Quotes
1:14:00 AM
I was reading my emails when I chance upon an interesting article about lesbians and lesbian sexuality. Quite a long article so I'll list down quotes that i find interesting and somehow informative especially to THOSE IGNORANT FREAKY STRAIGHT ASSHOLES ( I just love being sarcastic... ;-) )
my pondered thoughts have spoken- Despite the keg-party cliche that every man's fantasy is to see two women make out, our more pervasive cultural fantasy about lesbian sexuality is that it is not all that sexual.
- lesbianism is about emotion, connection, sisterhood, herbal tea. It is about womyn loving womyn for various reasons.
- The best reason for a woman to have sex with another woman (or for anyone to have sex with anyone) is because she wants to.
1:14:00 AM
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Stone Butch Blues
11:19:00 PM
Things haven't been good since the start of this week. I was down with a high fever and the doc gave me 2 days MC to have a very good rest. Took the opportunity to catch up with all my overdued sleep (my lacking of sleep has got nothing to do with watching too much of 'The L Word'). Anyways thanks to the doctor I did finally finished up the whole first season of 'The L Word', I just simply can't get enough of every character in the show. I'm so totally in love with Dana, god she's so beautiful and sexy especially when she's in a boyish tank top (yummay :P)......
Can't wait for the second season to be out on DVD...saw the trailer and it seems that there are more unexpected twist and turns in the next season...for now I'll slowly suffer post L word blues...
Anyways back to my reality.....just got another job recommended by my friend. I was excited at first but after giving my resignation letter yesterday to my boss I kinda feel at lost. I feel like as if I lost the love of my life...the kinda of feeling I've had when I left Breeks but it hurts so much more now...I guess its because I've spent most of my time with my colleagues and all the wonderful people I've met while working...I'm so gonna totally miss them :( and the whole of Holland Village...
Things between me and my dad hasn't been that good this past few days...don't know why but he seems to be cranky this days...can't be bothered with him...just make sure I'm asleep before he comes back and I'm gone while he is still sleeping...despite all the craziness Dad I still love you...
But today things kinda brighten up a bit. Went for my riding theory test and I feel so confident that I'll pass it through. The results will be out by next week. Den went down to Ngee Ann to submit my application for FSV course. Yup finally I did it after procastinating for weeks and hopefully I can get it. I really really really hope that I can make it through and if I did I'm totally celebrating it in a very big way....actually maybe dinner with her, ha ha....gosh with so many things to be done this week, I didn't even bother to sms her...I hope she's doing good, I miss her.........
my pondered thoughts have spokenCan't wait for the second season to be out on DVD...saw the trailer and it seems that there are more unexpected twist and turns in the next season...for now I'll slowly suffer post L word blues...
Anyways back to my reality.....just got another job recommended by my friend. I was excited at first but after giving my resignation letter yesterday to my boss I kinda feel at lost. I feel like as if I lost the love of my life...the kinda of feeling I've had when I left Breeks but it hurts so much more now...I guess its because I've spent most of my time with my colleagues and all the wonderful people I've met while working...I'm so gonna totally miss them :( and the whole of Holland Village...
Things between me and my dad hasn't been that good this past few days...don't know why but he seems to be cranky this days...can't be bothered with him...just make sure I'm asleep before he comes back and I'm gone while he is still sleeping...despite all the craziness Dad I still love you...
But today things kinda brighten up a bit. Went for my riding theory test and I feel so confident that I'll pass it through. The results will be out by next week. Den went down to Ngee Ann to submit my application for FSV course. Yup finally I did it after procastinating for weeks and hopefully I can get it. I really really really hope that I can make it through and if I did I'm totally celebrating it in a very big way....actually maybe dinner with her, ha ha....gosh with so many things to be done this week, I didn't even bother to sms her...I hope she's doing good, I miss her.........
11:19:00 PM